I hadn't seen Nikki for two weeks, and Daniel and Josh for three weeks. They came down to my place this past Tuesday and Thursday night to spent some times together.
This seems to be what every devoted Christan struggles in Japan, but there are a lot of times that I feel so useless and not serving God. It is just because the limitation number of Christian communities and people who are willing to hear the good news. The fact that all surrounding beliefs and culture go against Christianity sometimes gets me fire on God, like "I change this world!", but also spurs me to fall off from the top of a mountain with anxiousness and doubts in Him. I've had this emotional roller coaster for the last couple weeks. I surely realized that those anxiousness and doubts were led by my mistrusting with God, and it got me a lot of prayers for the help to trust Him. As I pray, however, I felt somewhere in my heart exciting for what God plans to show me after this. It sounds very weird, but read Romans 5:3-4. I know everyone can rejoice in Him in whatever circumstances, and as Job continued to have his faith, I believe that we ought to praise God with all blessings we presently have.
A Christian Hedonist, John Piper proclaims himself. I think I am too. At the end of whatever I struggle, I enjoy, period. I have wonderful brothers and sisters surrounding me, and what can I ask more than that? "Are you gonna fight? or are you gonna cave?" the loud voice that John Piper made is stuck in my head. "It is all about how you deal with sufferings." For sure, God create us to form a group that way each can carry one's burden together, and He himself revealed us to take our anxiousness as his own. Believing that I'm on God's team, I expect that my anxiousness strengthens my faith.
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